Songs of Love
by Novelnerd97
Summary: A collection of song-fics about Deeks and Kensi's relationship.
1. Walking Her Home

DISCLAIMER: Only Shane Brennan and Mark Shultz own...

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**Walking Her Home**

_Looking back _

_He sees it all_

_It was her first date the night he came to call _

He smiled as he thought about their first date. Or really... their first second date. Asking her out the first time was easy. The words came out of his mouth smooth.

"Want to get some dinner tonight?"

He was his usual charming self. That date was perfect and when he kissed her cheek at the end of the night he had hope for what was blooming. However the second time was a different story. She had a very strict rule. No second dates. However, he knew that their 'thing', whatever it was, deserved a second date. He walked up to her in the bullpen and he felt more nervous than he had in a long time. She looked up from her paperwork and look of confusion spread across her face.

"What's up?"

The words he wanted to say were caught in his throat. He was amused when he thought about how unconventional their relationship was. They had kissed, been married, and he was more nervous about asking her out on their second date then their first. She waved her hand in front of his face, grabbing his attention.

"Right... So what would you say to another date?"

She paused. For any other guy, this would be the point where she would say 'thanks but no thanks' and be on her way. However this wasn't any other guy, this was him, her best friend, her partner. So instead she bit her lip and smiled,

"You know what. I'd love to."

_Her dad said son _

_Have her home on time _

_And promise me you'll never leave her side _

_He took her to a show in town _

_And he was ten feet off the ground _

To them it didn't matter that technically they had already been on a date. She had been on many first dates but this one actually felt like it was the first. She sat on her bed, drying her hair thinking about if it was her first date. Her dad would probably request to meet him. He would pretend to hate the jokes, shaggy hair, and surfer attitude, but later that night he would turn to her and say that he knew he was a good guy. Her dad would then meet up with 'that boy', as he called him, and tell him to take care of his baby girl. She quickly swiped away the tears and put down the picture she was looking at. She then continued getting ready and when he picked her up and called her beautiful, she would blush and kiss his cheek. Then he would take her to a movie and dinner and she would feel like she was fifteen again because of all the butterflies in her stomach.

_He was walking her home_

_And holding her hand_

_Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him _

_Down that old road _

_With the stars up above _

_He remembers where he was the night he fell in love _

_He was walking her home _

After dinner he suggested they take a walk instead of going straight to his car. So from dinner they walked, for once, in silence. The restaurant was by the waterfront so it was no surprise when the couple found themselves walking along the beach. He wasn't normally shy but when it came to her, he never knew what to expect. So when she grabbed his hand and smiled at him, he could only smile wider. She then giggled, let go of his hand and ran to the water. It didn't matter she was wearing a fancy dress, when he reminded her she just laughed and urged him to join her. Laughing he ran after her and was struck by how beautiful and spontaneous she was. And he could feel himself falling in love with her all over again.

_Ten more years and a waiting room _

_At half past one _

_And the doctor said come in and meet your son_

The last time he was this nervous was also when he was stuck in the waiting room of a hospital. However it was for a very different reason. True his partner was in a bed bleeding but this time, instead of being unconscious, she was screaming at him. Apparently he was never sleeping with her again. He paced back and forth in the room. He had been in there, her crushing his hand and screaming out profanities but when his son was born he was pushed out of the room so they could clean her and her boy up. His so-called family was waiting with him and laughing at his anxiety. Finally the doctor walked through the door and said the words that he so desperately wanted to hear,

"Come and meet your son."

_His knees went weak _

_When he saw his wife _

_She was smiling as she said he's got your eyes  
And as she slept he held her tight _

_His mind went back to that first night _

He walked into the room and almost collapsed. She was lying on the bed, hair pushed back and sweaty, obviously exhausted. In her arms was a little blue bundle and she was whispering to it.

"Hey baby boy. Welcome to the world. I can tell you are a little bundle of mischief, just like your father. You certainly gave me enough trouble; you were supposed to be born last week!" She laughed. "I suppose you want to meet your daddy now. You can hold him, you know."

He jumped out of his trance when he realized she was talking to him. He walked to her bedside without saying a word and took what she was holding out to him. His boy was so small, he just couldn't believe it.

"He has your eyes you know. Bright and blue as the ocean. He'll love it just as much as you do, I know it."

He kissed his baby's forehead and right there he promised to be the dad that he never got. When he looked back at her she understood the tears in his eyes. He then lay on the bed beside her and feel asleep with his wife and his baby boy. His family.

_He was walking her home_

_And holding her hand_

_Oh the way he smiled it stole the breath right out of him_

_Down that old road_

_With the stars above_

_He remembers where he was the night he fell in love_

_He was walking her home_

_He walked her through the best days of her life _

_Sixty years together and he never left her side _

They both retired from work after their second son was born. They realized that their family needed them after a few close calls at work. When she got pregnant again they were both surprised. However when she lost it devastation struck the family. The tragedy had the possibility of tearing the family apart. However as she dealt with the grief he was grieving right beside her. They remained strong and they remained together. A couple of years later they decided they were ready again and the family was blessed with a baby girl.

When they visited her father he stood by her side as she spoke to the headstone, telling him how he would love his grandchildren. As she spoke he promised her dad that he would always stand by her. And that he did.

He was found by her side through shoot outs, kidnappings and explosions. When that was all over it was labour, 4 am feedings, and changing diapers. As time passed it became school plays and soccer games, and before they knew it, it was weddings and grandchildren of their own. He never once left her side, and she was forever grateful.

_A nursing home _

_At eighty-five _

_And the doctor said it could be her last night _

_And the nurse said Oh _

_Should we tell him now _

_Or should he wait until the morning to find out _

It took him forever to push her into the nursing home. It took all three of their children plus grandchildren guilt tripping her plus his promise to be there with her before she finally agreed. He was shocked and saddened when she got sick and he knew, instinctively, that she wasn't going to make it. Considering the life they lived before, he was surprised that they had made it this far. However that didn't make the realization any easier. He was going to live without her and he didn't know what he was going to do with himself. She would have laughed at him for going soft but she really was the love of his life and he was going to miss her more than anything. _  
_

_When they checked her room that night_

_He was lying by her side _

That night he stopped in her room to say goodnight and could tell that it would be for the last time. So, ignoring all the rules like he was so good at, he climbed into the bed alongside her. She looked at him and smiled that same smile that took his breath away the first time they met. They lay in the same position so many nights had been spent. One arm around her and her head lying on his chest. And they stayed like that just talking. _  
_

_Oh he was walking her home _

_And holding her hand _

_Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end _

_And just for a while they were eighteen _

_And she was still more beautiful to him than anything_

_He was walking her home _

_He was walking her home _

The talked about their past. All the cases, the suspects and the undercover jobs. Their flirty banter, unconscious comments, not to mention near death experiences. They talked about their first date and their first second date. His proposal, the wedding and the birth of their children were also recounted. They talked about their life together and everything that had only made them stronger. Both of them could easily say they were happy with their life. And for just that night, it was as if they were young again. Exchanging flirty banter, her punching him whenever he made a comment even though the punch no longer hurt, and as much in love as the night they took that walk – and swim – by the beach. He could feel himself becoming weaker, slipped towards the edge from which he would not return. However he was determined to continue so they sat there talking about everything they had been through together. _  
_

_Looking back _

_He sees it all_

_It was her first date the night he came to call_

Finally there was silence but they didn't need to talk. They knew how much love was shared and together their breathing became slower and they slipped off to sleep, and then a place farther. His last thoughts as he held his partner, his love, were of that special night so long ago. As his eyes closed he could see her young and laughing, splashing in the night ocean. He laughed and joined her, just enjoying life. Then together they held hands and walked to greet whatever was next. Just like that night, he was walking her home.

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**A/N: I know in the song (Walking Home by: Mark Shultz) the man lives but when I was writing I couldn't bring myself to do it. Kensi and Deeks belong together! I also know that I made a promise to myself to never write a character death but I heard this song and just knew I had to write a song-fic. And to give myself credit, it's not like it was a sudden kill off, they were in their eighties after a full life. So I hoped you like this fic :D**

**Review please,**

**Novelnerd97**


	2. Forever and Always

**To my reviewers- **

**IaMcHrIsSi: Thanks, I thought so too :) **

** : Glad to hear you like it! There will be more :D**

**Sillymissy98: Yeah I thought so too and sadly this one isn't much better... but I hope you like it :)**

**Kath46: I just didn't dare to split them up (after this one you'll notice a pattern..xD) Happy to hear that you enjoyed it!**

**That Aussie Gurl: You are starting to become my favourite author because you never fail to send me a review. Thank you! As you can tell this is going to be a bunch of different song-fics based on Densi so I hope you keep reading :D **

**AlexxxJ: I am blushing! I almost cried a bit writing it and trust me, this chapter was not better. Glad you enjoyed my writing.**

**Ac28: As I have been telling others this chapter isn't much better. But I am so happy to hear that my writing was able to give you that kind of emotion :) Keep tuned for more!**

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**Forever and Always**

_She's sitting at the table, the hours get later  
He was supposed to be here  
She's sure he would have called  
She waits a little longer, there's no one in the driveway  
No one's said they've seen him  
Why, is something wrong?_

Where was he? He only was supposed to pick up some takeout for dinner. However that only takes 15 minutes and it was now nearing one hour. She paced around the house, anxious. If it was traffic or his car broke down, he would have called her to tell her. She hadn't heard anything from him since he left the house. She called the entire team, no one had heard from him. They told her to calm down, that nothing had happened, but they agreed to look for him. Even Eric agreed to put out a bolo on his car to please her. But she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

_She looks back to the window  
Suddenly the phone rings  
A voice says something's happened  
That she should come right now_

She stands by her bay window, keeping watch on the street outside the house they shared. When her phone rang, she picked it up right away. It was Callen and he sounded very upset. Suddenly there was a rushing sound in her ears. She stopped listening to Callen after she heard those dreaded words,

"Deeks has been in an accident. It's bad Kensi. They don't know if he's going to make it."

_Her mind goes to December  
She thinks of when he asked her  
He bent down on his knees first  
And he said_

_I want you forever, forever and always  
Through the good and the bad and the ugly  
We'll grow old together  
Forever and always_

She looks down at her left hand, searching for the ring there. It wasn't a traditional ring or a traditional proposal but they weren't a traditional couple. They were entering a warehouse, searching for suspects, when Sam noticed the detonators. The team ran for the doors and just when they reached them, the building went up. He grabbed her and jumped, protecting her neck while they fell. The couple landed painfully on the concrete with debris falling all around them. They both had cuts and dirt all over them, she had a sprained ankle, and he had probably cracked a couple of ribs from slamming down with a woman on top of him. Sam and Callen got up to check on the status of the suspects but they just lay on the ground holding each other. It didn't matter that they hadn't even told the team that they were together; he pushed some hair out of her face and said,

"Marry me. Marry me Kensi. I promise that if I don't get kidnapped, shot, or blown up –"

"Deeks!"

"Right, sorry. If either of us doesn't succumb to some terrible fate, we'll grow old together. Have kids, the house, even the dog and the white picket fence. Marry me Kensi."

All she did was smile widely and nod. The two struggled to their feet, Kensi limping and Deeks holding his side, then Deeks got down on one knee and pulled out a little velvet box (slightly worn for wear) and showed her the ring inside.

Sam and Callen had just confirmed that all the suspects were dead. When they turned to the other members of their team they were greeted with a very surprising sight. Deeks was down on one knee, holding out a ring box to Kensi. Tears were streaming down her face as she nodded.

"Yes! Of course yes!"

Callen and Sam stared at each other in shock. Deeks and Kensi? It didn't matter that they were both injured, Kensi jumped Deeks. Her legs wrapped around his waist and they kissed. Callen and Sam walked over to the two, looks of confusion on their face.

"Can we ask what's going on here?"

The kissing couple had the decency to look a little ashamed. Kensi untangled herself from Deeks and he lowered her to the ground. Callen laughed,

"Told you they were serious! You owe me a 50! Now Kens let's see this ring."

Kensi was shocked that they already knew and were betting on her relationship. However she still showed the other agents the ring on her left hand. It was a beautiful white gold band with a teardrop safire in between two diamonds.

"You did good Deeks. I guess congratulations are in order, that is, if Kensi doesn't kill you before the wedding."

She pulls up to the entrance  
She walks right to the front desk  
They lead her down a million halls, a maze that's never ending  
They talk about what happened but she can barely hear them

She doesn't know how she made it to the hospital. She wasn't even aware of any other cars on the road but somehow she made it to the emergency room entrance. She ran to the front desk, aware that she must look like a mad woman. Breathlessly she asked for Marty Deeks. The nurse guided her down the hall. She was trying to talk to Kensi but she couldn't hear her. All she caught were disconnected words,

"Car accident. Internal bleeding. Broken bones. Extensive injuries."

_She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room  
She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight  
They talk about the kids they're gonna have and the good life  
The house on the hillside, where they would stay_

Stay there forever, forever and always  
Through the good and the bad and the ugly  
We'll grow old together, and always remember  
Whether rich or for poor or for better  
We'll still love each other, forever and always

Her heart broke when she walked into his room. He wasn't the only one there, others were behind the blue curtain, however she only had eyes for him. He was awake but his injuries were so extensive that all the doctors could do now was keep him comfortable. Kensi walked to his bedside and placed a kiss on his forehead. Knowing that he wouldn't want to talk about what was going to happen, although they would have to face it sometime, Kensi started talking about what was going to happen when he got out of there. She talked about how they would decorate their house, the kids they were going to have, the future that they would have together.

Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurses  
Brings up the chaplain and he says a couple verses

She then is struck by an amazing idea. An amazing, completely and totally crazy idea. Telling Deeks that it doesn't matter what happens, she doesn't want to wait another moment to be married to him. She called in the nurse from the desk outside and told her the plan. She called the priest up from the hospital chapel and told him to come prepared for a wedding.

_She borrows some rings from the couple next door  
Everybody's laughing as the tears fall on the floor  
She looks into his eyes, and she says_

A young woman, whose husband was sharing a room with Deeks, came up to Kensi.

"I couldn't help but overhear your plans. And I want to help you." Kensi could only smile at this woman.

"My name is Alyssa and this is my husband Carter. We're here because he fell off the roof putting up the satellite. Now let's see... Your ring is something blue, beautiful by the way. And I want to give these to you so you have the something new..."

Kensi looked at her in shock, "But... but these are your wedding rings! I can't take these!"

"Sweetie we both know why you're doing this. We can always buy another pair of rings, however you cannot. So take the rings."

Kensi had tears in her eyes as she hugged Alyssa, a rare show of affection for her.

"Now let's continue. You need something old, and something borrowed"

One of the nurses heard about the plans and walked up to Kensi with something in her hands, "I think I can fix that sweetheart. Tonight was my anniversary so I had some fancy things in my bag. I know you don't want to dress up," She smiled at the surprised look on Kensi's face. "You seem like that kind of girl. But every girl should have something wedding-like so I have this hair broach. It's something borrowed and it was my grandmother's so it's something old."

Alyssa grinned, "Now that's taken care of, you have the priest... do you have some family here?"

"Yes they're in the waiting room."

"Well let's get this show on the road!"

_I want you forever, forever and always  
Through the good and the bad and the ugly  
We'll grow old together, and always remember  
Whether happy or sad or whatever  
We'll still love each other, forever and always  
Forever and always, forever and always_

"Do you, Kensi Marie Blye, take Martin Deeks to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health until death do you part?"

"I do."

"And do you, Martin Deeks, take Kensi Marie Blye to be your lawful wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"Hell yes!"

Everyone laughed as Kensi stood by his bedside, took his hand and started her vows,

"Everyone says that I must have the patience of a saint to put up with you. I think it must be the other way around. For two years I kept pushing you away and you just kept coming back. I thought you were cocky, a smart ass and too pretty for your own good. However you have proved time and time again that you are so much more. You may be cocky, but you are incredibly generous and kind and always thinking about others before yourself. You may be a smart ass, but some days it's only your wit that keeps me sane and keeps my smiling when all I want to do it breakdown. You may be pretty, but I've learned that it benefits others as well. Marty I love you with all my heart. It kills me that there may be something that takes you away from me but in our line of work it could have easily been me. So Marty I promise to cherish and love you for whatever time we have left together."

It was Deeks' turn to say his vows, and even though he was having trouble breathing, he was determined to get the words out.

"Kensi you are a mystery. You always have been and I think you always will be. Every day I learn something new about you and every day I try to figure you out. That's only one of the many reasons why I love you. I could list everything that I love about you but we would be here all night. Your mismatched eyes, your messiness, your addiction to chocolate, your ability to take down a guy twice your size. I love you with all my heart and that's why it pains me so much that I'll have to leave you. Now I want you to listen to me Kensi, once I'm gone –"

"Marty!"

"Oh come don't pretend you don't know what's going to happen. And hell, if I'm wrong I'll be glad. However if I'm not I want to say this. Don't stop living. If I can't give you the kids, the house, the dog or the white picket fence, I still want you to have it. So find a guy that makes you happy. Let him meet Sam, Callen and Renko, if they like him then I would like him. Let him give you everything and more. Remember if he doesn't treat you right not only will he be dealing with the big brothers but I will come back from the grave and haunt his ass. However I want you to have a life even if it's not with me. So Kensi don't forget me but don't dwell too much on me. Don't stop living."

Both of them had tears streaming down their faces while the priest pronounced them man and wife. Everyone understood that the couple wanted some time alone so they gave Deeks their goodbyes and they left the room. But they didn't go far; the team was in the waiting room, showing support for the remaining members. Kensi climbed onto the bed alongside Deeks and they both knew no words were needed. So they just held each other, pouring their love to each other. Finally Kensi heard Deeks's breathing slowing and knew this was it. She gave him one last kiss and got up from the bed.

"I love you. Forever and always."

Kensi smiled through her tears and left the room. She met the team and when she spotted Callen she broke down. He hugged her tight and stroked her hair. It killed him to see her like this but he knew that there was no way to fix it. Only time would heal these wounds.

She finishes the vows but the beeps are getting too slow  
His voice is almost too low  
As he says, I love you forever, forever and always  
Please just remember even if I'm not there  
I'll always love you, forever and always

Kensi was actually fairing pretty well. She had taken Deeks's words to heart and hadn't stopped living because he was gone. She continued to work and so far everything was okay. The worst day was when she got a new partner. She knew it would happen eventually but it didn't hurt any less. The new guy walked into the room and Kensi just burst into tears. He was floundering with his inconsolable partner until Callen took her and Sam took him into another room.

"I'm sorry but this is hard for her. Not only did she loose her partner but she also lost her husband. Just give her a little time."

It was four years later when she was moving on. She had met this guy, James, at a coffee shop by her new apartment. They went out once and Kensi actually wanted to go on a second date. It was after they had been dating 2 months that Kensi told him the truth about what she did for a living. He didn't walk away, instead being her rock after every tough case. It was 1 year after dating that Kensi told James the meaning of the necklace she always wore. The locket held his picture, the blue stoned ring was her engagement ring, and the gold band (that completely didn't match) was their wedding band. She explained that they gotten married while he was on his death bed.

"Yeah so technically you are dating a widow... I hate to drop all of this on you but I thought you should know what you're getting into..."

Instead of doing what she expected and walking away, James gave her a hug and told her that being a widow didn't matter to him. He told her that he would stand by her side, and help her get through everything that may come her way.

When James proposed she looked at him in sadness and said,

"I'm sorry, but no."

"No?"

"No. Look James I love you. I really do. However I can't marry you."

That was their first major fight and he crashed with a friend that night. He came back the next morning with tears in his eyes,

"I am so sorry Kensi! I know that you love me and that I love you. I guess I just wanted things to be official but I realized this morning that I don't need any of that. I know I'm not the love of your life. I know I will never make you as happy as him. However I promise to spend every day trying. So I don't need you to wear a ring or take my last name, I just need to know that I can always stand by your side."

Kensi was crying and as she looked over James's shoulder she could swear she felt a hand brush back her hair and a much missed voice whisper in her ear,

"Say yes Kensi. Don't stop living."

So she smiled wider and replied, "I can't be the one to wear a ring or take your last name but I can be the girl who you come home to. The girl that you love and the girl that you have a family with. I can be your girl."

One year later she gave birth to a baby girl, Carter. After Carter was her son, Jake, and after him was her youngest, Cassie. James stood by Kensi's side through 4 am feedings and dirty diapers. He was there when their kids had soccer games and school plays. He didn't even complain when Kensi taught her children to pick locks, hotwire cars and disarm alarms. Hell he even went through explanation after painful explanation about what Callen and Sam would do if he ever hurt her. He asked her team about Marty because he understood that Marty would always hold a special place in all of their hearts.

It was when she was eighty and in a nursing home that she understood how special James was. Her breathing was becoming laboured and he knew that this was the end. He leaned over and gave her one last kiss.

"I love you James."

"I love you too Kensi. Now it's time to let go. It's time to stop fighting. You've lived your life and I'm going to be fine without you Kens. The kids will be fine. We're all going to be fine. Now it's time for you to let go and join Marty again."

Kensi smiled at James and he knew that in that one moment, while he would never be the love of her life, he had given her something no one else could. He had given her a life. So he squeezed her hand while she closed her eyes and slipped away.

When she opened her eyes again, everything was white. It was calm and it was peaceful here, wherever here was. Kensi looked down at herself and realized that she looked the same as she had when she was 26. Suddenly there was a voice behind her,

"It's good to see you Fern."

Kensi cried out in joy, and just like when she proposed, she ran at him and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"I love you Marty!" She said in between kisses to every part of him she could reach.

"I told you I'd love you Kensi. Forever and always."

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry! I know I said I wouldn't do character death but I heard this song and suddenly this started writing itself. Even though I never want Kensi and Deeks to split up, I thought the love and emotion in this song fits how much they love each other (that is if Shane Brennan ever gets them together :P). So that's the next song. Send me a review with any songs that you guys would like me to do (maybe a happy one after the first two..) :D**

**Review please,**

**Novelnerd97**

**P.S. Don't forget to check out my other Densi fanfic **_**Bleeding Love**_**. It's about how Deeks would react if Kensi got shot during an operation. **


	3. Kiss Me or Not

**DISCLAIMER: All credit goes to Shane Brennan and Thompson Squared**

**To my reviewers-**

**Guest: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :) **

**That Aussie Gurl: Thank you! I tried very hard to keep the characters true to Shane Brennan's creation. Haha glad to know you are staying :D**

**IaMcHrIsSi: Thanks! I don't like Deeks dead either but it seems all the songs want it that way. I'll try writing those :D thanks for the suggestion. This song is from the band Parachutes (or something like that...)**

**SunnyCitrus10: Thank you! I didn't want Kensi marrying James because even though she loved him and they had a life together, I wanted to show that Deeks was her true soul mate. Hence why she met up with him again :D**

**AlexxxJ: I'm glad it touched you! I love you too for reviewing :D**

**Guest: I'm very happy that you didn't stop reading and liked it. Sorry for making you cry in the middle of the library. This one isn't sad :D**

**Ac28: Haha I'm grinning like a fool right now. I promise this one isn't sad :D You are far too good to me, thank you for all the compliments 3 3**

**Warrior44: I'll listen to it. Who is it by?**

**Ezria-Forever2009: I hope you were able to continue to read the end. I'm glad that you think my writing was realistic enough to react to :D This one isn't sad, I promise.**

**Kiss Me or Not: Thompson Squared**

_We were sittin' up there on your momma's roof  
Talkin' 'bout everything under the moon  
With the smell of honeysuckle and your perfume  
All I could think about was my next move_

It wasn't an unusual day. Kidnappings, shoot outs, and explosions, nothing more than a normal day for us. That case had hit us all hard, but I think it hit Kensi worst of all. A daughter of a single day Marine snuck out of her bedroom to go see a movie that her dad wouldn't let her go to. She was kidnapped on her way home and later that day her father was contacted with demands of sharing national secrets. We found the girl alive but it brought back all of the bad memories of her father's death. So I wasn't surprised to find her in the gym, punching out her frustrations on a bag. The gym for her was like the roof to me, a place to think.

"Hey." I knew she heard me come in but I announced myself out of courtesy. She didn't look up from the bag but she did stop beating it up, so I took that as a good sign.

"How are you?"

"Fi –"

"And swear to God if you say fine... I can read you better than that."

She finally made eye contact and I could see the pain in her eyes. It had only taken 5 years of saving each other's asses for her to let me see this side of her.

When one tear found itself escaping her eye, I took a step towards her and wiped it away with my thumb. Although Kensi had found the answers about her father's death, part of her would always regret sneaking out that night.

"Come on Kens. I am dying for some Chinese."

_Oh, but you were so shy, so was I  
Maybe that's why it was so hard to believe  
When you smiled and said to me  
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?_

Empty takeout containers scattered the coffee table. The lights were dim and Kensi and I were curled up on the couch watching some mindless movie. At first we were sitting on opposite sides of the couch but, like always, somehow we had migrated closer. My arm was lying behind her and her knees were tucked under her. The moment she laid her head on my shoulder and snuggled closer to me, something changed. Her head lifted off my shoulder and she looked me in the eye.

"Why are you here Deeks?"

I looked at her, confused, "What do you mean?"

"I mean just that After every tough case you could be anywhere but you always come over with takeout and beer, just to see if I'm okay. I'm not an easy person to deal with. Why are you still here?"

"Because that's what partners do. Callen has Sam. Sam has his family. I have Ray, to some degree. Nell and Eric have each other. Hell, even Hetty has Callen. You need someone to look out for you Kens. So yeah you may not be the easiest to deal but I'm stubborn. I'm always going to be here."

"I'm done. I'm done pretending. I'm done saying that this doesn't exist."

"This?" I had to be sure that we were on the same page.__

Are we gonna do this or what?  
I think you know I like you a lot  
But you're 'bout to miss your shot  
Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

"Our thing!"

"So there is a thing?" She smiled at the words she said so long ago.

"Yeah. There is most definitely a thing."

That was all the signal I needed. I turned to face her and we both leaned towards each other. However, I hesitated. This was going to be one amazing night, the result of five years of sexual tension. But what if it doesn't go past that. This could totally screw up our entire partnership. But no – I was sick of thinking about the what ifs and worst case senerios. Screw it! We both wanted this. So I closed the distance between Kensi and I.__

It was the best dang kiss that I ever had  
Except for that long one after that  
And I knew if I wanted this thing to last  
Sooner or later I'd have to ask for your hand

I won't say that our thing was easy. We still had our banter and we even had a few major fights that had me sleeping on the office couch. However somehow we made it work. After every tough case we always found our ways back to each other.

I knew Kensi was cautious around engagement rings and commitment. But we'd be partners for 7 years, and together for 2. That's longer than most marriages in this city. I knew what I had to do and I got the ring.__

So I took a chance  
Bought a wedding band and I got down on one knee  
And you smiled and said to me  
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?

I had planned everything for a fancy dinner. We were going to eat an expensive dinner, drink good wine and when dessert arrived I would pop the question. However, like most things in our screwed up lives, things did not go according to plan.__

Are we gonna do this or what?  
I think you know I love you a lot  
I think we've got a real good shot  
Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

I got a call from Ops right before we ordered dessert,

"Hey Deeks! Sorry to interrupt your night but we've got a case. And it's a hot one."

"Seriously? Yeah we'll be there in a few minutes." Kensi looked at me in confusion. "Looks like date night is cancelled Princess. We've got work."

She rolled her eyes and called for the waiter. "Of course we do."

When Kensi and I walked in the Ops Centre they gave us critical looks. Instead of asking the father for permission, I asked the family which would be the entire team. So everyone in Ops had known in my plans. You figure for a room full of undercover operators they would be better at hiding their reactions. Kensi was in front of me, so I was able to give a subtle shake of my head.

"What's the need to call us in Eric? We were kind of busy." Both Nell and Eric looked at my apologetically. Then they started briefing us on the new case.

An extremely long 18 sleepless hours later the case was closed and the bad guys were behind bars. The team was fine, only a couple of nasty bruises and some seriously sore muscles for tomorrow. On our way out of the Ops Centre after debriefing I knew that tonight was going to be the night. And honestly, what was better for us than the office? When we reached the bullpen I stopped.

"Hey Kens?"

"Yes?"

"Just to inform you, this wasn't my original plan. I had planned to do this earlier during dinner. However, duty calls and we were interrupted. So I have to do what I do best... Improvise. Kens, we fight, we bicker, God knows we are not the perfect couple. But somehow things between us just work." I had gathered everyone's attention and they, and Kensi, had clued into what was happening. "I know you aren't the biggest fan of commitment. But honey, this is commitment. We've stuck by each other through almost everything and I know that nothing can break us apart. Kensi, Bad-Ass Blye, wifey, Sugar Bear, Fern, I love you with all of my heart and want nothing more than to spend every day of my life showing you. So I ask you, will you marry me?"

Tears were in her eyes and for once she didn't try to stop them. A smile spread across her face and she took a step towards me.

"I never thought I would say this but... yes! Of course yes!" Then she wrapped her arms around me and we kissed, oblivious to the cheering of everyone.__

So, we planned it all out for the middle of June  
From the wedding cake to the honeymoon  
And your momma cried  
When you walked down the aisle

Honestly I don't know how we did it. Work for NCIS and plan a wedding. It was difficult and crazy, sometimes we found ourselves discussing wedding plans while driving a suspect to the boat shed, but we still managed to have a perfect day. __

When the preacher man said, "Say I do"  
I did and you did too, then I lifted that veil  
And saw your pretty smile and I said  
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?

We did not have a normal wedding. My best man was in witness protection and Kensi didn't have her father to walk her down the aisle. So, like my proposal, we improvised. Eric stood by my side with a button cam that was transmitting on a secure network to Ray. Nell and Julia, Kensi's mother, stood by her as bridesmaids. Instead of a regular priest, we decided we'd rather have someone that we knew. So Hetty was going to marry us.

Perhaps the strangest part of our wedding was who was walking Kensi down the aisle. Callen and Sam stood on either side of her. All of us knew that there should have been another man standing with them but he wouldn't make it. So I smiled when I saw that there was a way for him to be here, Callen was wearing both his own and Renko's badge.

Then my eyes slid to Kensi and all other thoughts were erased. I was getting married!__

Are we gonna do this or what?  
Look at all the love that we got  
It ain't never gonna stop  
Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

"I do."

"I do."

And just like that, we were finally married. We did all the usual things; first dance, bouquet toss, garter throw. The one thing that was missing was a father-daughter dance. Kensi said that it was okay but I arranged for a sister-brother dance. She started off with Sam and half way through Callen cut in. It was awhile before we danced again but during her dance she glanced over her shoulder at me and I could tell by the tears in her eyes that she was grateful. __

Yeah baby, I love you a lot  
I really think we've got a shot  
Are you gonna kiss me or not?

"Thank you. For everything Deeks."

I smiled, and kissed her on the nose, "You can't call me Deeks anymore. That's your name too."

"Well you can't call me Bad-Ass Blye anymore."

I laughed and kissed her on the lips. We danced for the rest of the night, caught up in our own world, until Nell interrupted us.

"Sorry guys. But if you don't leave now, you're going to miss your plane."

Then she whisked Kensi away to change. She reappeared a few minutes later wearing jeans and a T-shirt yet still looking as beautiful as she did in that white dress. Together we got into one of Hetty's beautiful cars marked 'Just Married'. Together we started our life together.

**A/N: This is the next chapter in Songs of Love. I know I didn't use the suggested songs but this one just jumped out at me. Finally a nice happy ending for Kensi and Deeks! Keep sending in your suggestions and I'll try and write them :D**

**As always, review please**

**Novelnerd97**


	4. As You Turn Away

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything of NCIS Los Angeles or Lady Antebellum **

**As You Turn Away**

_Standing face to face_

_Wrapped in your embrace_

_I don't wanna let you go_

_But you're already gone_

They didn't hug.

It was something that had just been that way since day one. Kensi never was a touchy feely person, so unless it was an undercover op there weren't hugs. Punches, sparring and even cuddling when they fell asleep after watching a movie together were common but there were never hugs. And Deeks was okay with that. That was just who Kensi was.

But now he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and make all the pain go away. But he couldn't. He wanted nothing more than to take the pain away but he was the one causing the pain.

This wasn't just hurting her. Looking at his beautiful partner, with tears glistening in her eyes, he felt as though someone was stabbing his heart. But this was better for both of them, no matter how much it hurt.

_Now you kiss my cheek_

_Soft and bittersweet_

_I can read it in your eyes_

_Baby, this is our goodbye_

He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, careful to avoid the tear making its way down. Looking into his eyes she saw many emotions: regret, sadness, anger. It was in that moment that she knew this was the end. Kensi looked away from his baby blues and heard his sigh. As usual, the partners didn't speak, instead choosing to work in subtle emotions.

_Nothing more to say_

_Nothing left to break_

_I keep reaching out for you_

_Hoping you might stay_

Kensi didn't like to show weakness. But Deeks hoped that just this once; she would be willing to bring her wall down even if just for a second. He wanted to see that she actually cared if he left. That she realized what he had done the past few years. That she realized why he couldn't do it anymore.

_Nothing more to give_

_Nothing left to take_

_I keep reaching out for you_

_Reaching out for you_

_As you turn away_

It had always been Deeks that was chasing. He followed Kensi's lead in the beginning, he was there for her when she went after her dad's killer, he waited until she was ready. But how much did she expect him to give? He was exhausted. It was simple as that. He was sick of being the one fighting for their 'thing' when it appeared that the other didn't care.

_Let go of my hand_

_So I can feel again_

_Nothing's gonna hurt as much_

_As that final touch_

Kensi looked firmly at the wall, fighting to keep the tears at bay and failing. She didn't think it would hurt this much. People had left before, this wasn't new for her. But when it came to Deeks everything was magnified. All she could think of was when he was 'fired' and she thought she would never see him again. But this time was so much worse because he was leaving willingly.

She felt him run his hand lightly down her face and another tear fell. He really was going.

_No we can't be friends_

_Cause I don't think I could take seeing you_

_And knowing where we've been_

_I hope you understand_

Deeks knew that after this he was going to resign as the LAPD, NCIS Liaison and go back to the LAPD. It didn't matter that they hated them, that would be so much better than seeing the girl that broke his heart every day and have to pretend like everything was okay.

It hurt to think that someone else was going to have Kensi's back in the field but maybe it was for the best. They didn't need another distraction in the field.

_Nothing more to say_

_Nothing left to break_

_I keep reaching out for you_

_Hoping you might stay_

All Kensi had to do was say stay. If she said the word he would stay by her side forever more. But she was too proud to do it. She thought that she had to do everything herself and by doing that, sometimes she ended up being alone.

He gave her his everything and just once he wanted her to give him something back.

Kensi wanted nothing more than to say. Hell she wanted to get down on her knees and beg him to stay. But her damn pride prevented her. So she stayed where she was, staring at the wall, waiting for him to leave like so many others did before.

"I guess this is goodbye…"

Hearing his voice made everything ten times worse. It made everything real. Kensi felt her anger rising. What right did he have to leave her like this?

_Nothing more to give_

_Nothing left to take_

_I keep reaching out for you_

_Reaching out for you_

_As you turn away_

Deeks saw the anger in Kensi's eyes and he beat her to the punch.

"I can't do this anymore Kensi. I just can't."

"Damn it Deeks! You weren't supposed to leave! You were supposed to be the one that stayed!"

"Yeah well how long do you expect me to wait Kensi? Its been 5 years… 5 years of me standing right here, in front of you, just waiting for you to notice me. But I can't wait my whole life Kens. At one point, I have to move on." His voice was barely angry. The main emotion he had was defeat. He was finally giving up, something Kensi thought he would never do. Only now did she realize how much she relied on Deeks to always be there.

_One step my heart is breaking_

_One more my hands are shaking_

_The door is closing_

_And I just can't change it_

Deeks turned away from Kensi and moved through the door.

"Why?" Deeks froze. Now she wanted answers? Now she wanted to talk about things? After everything, it was only when he was saying goodbye that she would concede? He felt his anger rise to a peak and everything came spilling out.

"Because I love you god damn it! I love you and do you know how painful it is to know that you don't feel the same way? I can't spend another 5 years watching you date other people when every time I do it feels like someone is stabbing me. I'm done waiting and I'm sure as hell done chasing. So you know what? You get what you always wanted Kens. This is me leaving you alone." And with that he walked away, the door shutting with a surprising finality.

_Nothing more to say_

_Nothing left to break_

Kensi pushed her back against the now closed front door and sunk to the ground, tears pouring out. She picked up the glass from beside her and flung it at the wall, the tears coming harder than ever before.

Deeks walked towards his car, tears mixing with the rain falling. On his way he punched the wall, barely registering the pain in his hand. He knew this was the right thing but if it was right why did it hurt so much?

Both of them had all their regrets flying through their mind. Both partners, standing on opposite sides of a door that stood for so much more, couldn't help but think how were they going to make it without the other. Neither understanding how this pain was the better option.

_Nothing more to give_

_Nothing left to take_

_I keep reaching out for you_

_Reaching out for you_

_I keep reaching out for you_

_Reaching out for you_

_As you turn away,_

_As you turn away,_

_As you turn away..._

It was just when Deeks was reaching his car that a thought hit Kensi.

This was Deeks.

And just like that everything was clear. This was the LAPD officer/ typical Californian surfer that pissed her off to no end. He was the one who complained about her techno music but never tried to change the radio channel. He was the one who made fun of her junk food obsession but always had donuts for her in the morning. He was whom she went to movies with and spent nights in, watching crappy TV with.

All because he was her partner.

Sure she was still scared and sure she still had that wall. But Kensi spent every day not sure if she was going to have another. And she didn't want to end up living with regrets. She stood up quickly, scrambling over the broken glass all over her apartment and wrenched open the door. Ignoring the fact that she was dressed in leggings and one of his T-shirts, and currently not wearing shoes, she ran out into the rain.

"Deeks!"

He didn't turn around. She only ran faster, desperate to catch him before it was too late.

"Deeks!" When he still didn't turn around she upped the anti. "Deeks turn around damn it!"

As much as he wanted to ignore her he was still hardwired to respond to her don't-screw-with-me tone.

"What do you want Kensi."

The tears mixed with the rain on her face and he could see her mascara dripping down her cheeks. "I don't want regrets. I don't want to be blown up tomorrow and regret not getting what I wanted because I was too scared. I don't want to look back and think 'if only'."

"What does that mean Kensi?"

"It means for once it's me doing the chasing. It's me reaching out, making the effort. I just want to give us a try Deeks. I want to give our thing a try."

Neither partner noticed that fact that they were soaked to the bone from the rainstorm. To them it felt as though they were burning up. Just like that something inside them broke. Kensi took a step towards and grabbed Deeks' face in her hands, pulling him towards her. He kissed back with equal emotion, pulling her entire body into his. Not removing his lips from hers, Deeks hiked her legs up around and spun them around so that she was pressed up against the hood of the car. Deeks leaned forward as Kensi laid down, still kissing. The passion was unbearable, 5 years of sexual tension.

They finally disconnected their lips to breathe when a neighbour yelled out of his window, "Get a room! Damn teenagers…"

Deeks spoke against Kensi lips when he caught his breath. "So there is a thing."

Kensi remembered that conversation after yet another fight. "Shut up and kiss me Deeks."

Deeks only reconnected their lips and carried Kensi back to her apartment where they 'helped' each other out of their wet clothes. And just like that, the beginning of something amazing happened, all because he turned away and she was ready to follow.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this took so long but I could just not find inspiration. Then I heard this song a voila! I'm sorry if it's a little cliché the whole kissing in the rain but a cliché is a cliché for a reason. I just really thought it fit. Well I hope you enjoyed!**

**Reviews buy my love,  
Novelnerd97**


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